(Thanks to the nice people at the bottom of the page for some gems . Your joke or gem could go here, too. Just e-mail me.)
“The miracle of the appropriateness of the language of mathematics for the formulation of the laws of physics is a wonderful gift, which we neither understand nor deserve.”---E.P. Wigner from ``The Unreasonable Effectiveness of Mathematics in the Natural Sciences'' in Symmetries and Reflections, (Oxbow Press, Woodbridge, Conn., 1979), p. 237 (found at http://www.ph.utexas.edu/~bohmwww/quotes.html).
This link demonstrates the role math plays in science, technology, and culture.
And here's all about Tom Lehrer's new math. Google to find other songs of his!
In math 135, Real Analysis, we prove the Bolzano Weierstrass Theorem, and here is a Rap version for the real line!! Rumor has it this will be on some final or another!
If you want a theorem named after you, read on!
If that isn’t good enough, read on to tell if you’re really a pure mathematician.
If you ever wondered where mathematics stands in the intellectual hierarchy read on!
(these very cool jokes came from http://xkcd.com )
Here's how NOT to impress your teachers.
Do you know what i and pi said to each other?.... Click here to learn.
On a related note, why couldn't the circle button its pants? Click here for the answer.
Speaking of numbers, if people call you "four eyes," what should you say?
......I'm number 1!! (hint: i*i*i*i)
How about reading 75 proofs of the Pythagorean Theorem.
In the same vein, here is one more way to do math:
Question: Do you know why 16/64 = 1/4?
Answer: Cancel the 6's!
Do you know why 6 is afraid of 7?? Click here for the answer.
WARNING: I have been known to put this question on final tests!
If you want to hear the answer
sung, click here! (gotten from http://www.bnlmusic.com/ )
Q: How many elements are in a commutative group?
A: A-belian (................10^9)
What did one math book say to the other?? Click here for the answer.
What did the zero say to the eight?? Click here for the answer.
If you're in a German mood....What, according to Sigmund Freud, comes between fear and sex? Click here for the answer!
Theorem: All positive integers are interesting.
Proof: Assume the contrary. Then there is a lowest non-interesting positive integer. But, hey, that's pretty interesting! A contradiction.
Theorem: Consider the set of all sets that have never been considered. Hey!
They're all gone! Oh, well, never mind...
Q: Do you already know the latest stats joke?
A friend got this in a fortune cookie (really!!): 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
A professor gives a multiple choice test and sees a student flipping coins. The prof. goes over and asks the student why he's flipping coins and the student explains he didn't study and figures that just random guessing would be better than anything he could do.
Finally, near the end of the test, the prof. sees the student furiously flipping coins and walks over and asks why. Click here for reason.
In the same vein, check this out:
A farmer asks his sheepdog to count his new sheep. The dog runs into the field, and after a bit, runs back to his master,
"40," replies the dog.
"How can there be 40?" exclaims the farmer. "I only bought 38!"
"I know," says the dog. "But I rounded them up."
Here’s what your math profs mean when they use the following words:
Clearly: I don't want to write down all the "in-between" steps.
Trivial: If I have to show you how to do this, you're in the wrong class.
It can easily be shown: No more than four hours are needed to prove it.
Brute force: Four special cases, three counting arguments and two long inductions.
Elegant proof: Requires no previous knowledge of the subject matter and is less than ten lines long.
Similarly: At least one line of the proof of this case is the same as before.
Two line proof: I'll leave out everything but the conclusion, you can't question 'em if you can't see 'em.
Briefly: I'm running out of time, so I'll just write and talk faster.
Proceed formally: Manipulate symbols by the rules without any hint of their true meaning.
Proof omitted: Trust me, It's true.
e^x and a constant are walking down the street together when the constant sees a differential operator coming their way. He starts to run away, and e^x asks "Why are you running away?" The constant answers "That's a differential operator. If it acts on me, I disappear." e^x says "I'm e^x, I don't have anything to worry about." and keeps on walking. When he reaches the differential operator, he says "Hi, I'm e^x."
The differential operator responds, "Hi, I'm d/dy"
If you would like to derive click here!
Two mathematicians are studying a convergent series.
The first one says: "Do you realize that the series converges even when all the terms are made positive?"
The second one asks: "Are you sure?"
The first one says: "Absolutely!"
A group of Mathematicians were in a band. They got up on stage and proceeded to stand there in silence for three whole minutes. When a member of the audience asked what they were doing, the band replied, "why, we're playing an imaginary number."
Q: What does a mathematician say at the door on Halloween?
A: Trig or Treat!!
Q: What does a mathematician say when she comes home and doesn't find her parrot?
A: Polly gone!
Do you know what (sin x)/n is? ANS: six!
Now, do you know what (sin x)/x is?
Speaking of imaginary numbers…. Here’s something that happened last time I got a wrong number: “I'm sorry, the number you have dialed is an imaginary number. Please rotate your phone 90 degrees and dial again.”
Do you know the shortest mathematical joke?...... Let epsilon be less than zero.
... and then there was the statistician who drowned in a river which was only
What’s yellow, linear, normed, and complete?? Click here for answer.
What's complete, has an inner product, and is filled with satirical office humor? Click here for the answer.
Here are some good ones from http://mathworld.wolfram.com/AbelianGroup.html
Q: What's purple and commutes? A: An Abelian grape.
Q: What is lavender and commutes? A: An Abelian semigrape.
Q: What's purple, commutes, and is worshipped by a limited number of people?
A: A finitely-venerated Abelian grape.
Q: What's nutritious and commutes? A: An Abelian soup.
An engineer physicist and mathematician are asked to make a fence to
enclose the most land with the least fencing.
The engineer says "I can do that" and makes circular fence.
The physicist "I can do better" and makes a fence that goes around the
The math bemusedly says" Oh yeah...wow" and makes a small fence around
herself. "I declare this to be the outside!"
A man was complaining that although he had been able to teach his horse mathematics and physics the horse was unable to learn philosophy, which proves you can't put Descartes before the horse.
Physics is math constrained by reality and engineering is physics constrained by money!
What’s clear and used by trendy, sophisticated engineers to solve differential equations?
Here's a fun anagram: eleven plus two = twelve plus one
There are three types of people, those who know how to count and those who don't.
There are 10 types of people, those who know binary and those who don't.
Here is a fun article on Babbage and Lovelace who were early computer aces.
Here's a cool description of how the Babylonians developed basic trig before the Greeks and how their base 60 number system made it easier.
Thanks to R. Ammon, S. Atlas, M. Babai, A.Berrian, M.Birtwhistle, B. Boghosian, M. Burr, A. Casale, C. Collins, J, Cormack, S. Cugini, P. Forte, R. Freed, D. Grayson, D. Greisen, T. Gwena, E. Harris (and the play “ Proof” by David Auburn), B. Hasselblatt, E. Harvey, A. Haurwitz, Gabor H., L. Howell, J. Hugg, D. Ivy, S. Jara, KK, M. Kain, E. Kalafarski, A. Kang ,R. Kufmann, R. Kelley, D. Lauden, A. Lee, K. Lewis, Max I.L.S., H. Lin, T. London, K. Maxwell, S. MacLachlan, B.Z. Mayer, L. Mittel, A super Ottoson sixth grade math teacher, K. Mueller, S. Mullins, R. Mungar, F. Nelson, K, Nichols-Schmolze, Anne A.P., S. Patch, C. Pierce, B. Powers, LQ, Nick and Lauren Q., G. Raymond, J. Rennie, A. Rieder, T. Schuster, J. Seltzer, N. Slaughter, E. St. Sauvier, C.M. Tan, R. Tobin, J. Waldman, M. Yan, J. Yorke, Y. Zhu, the Zigos, Uncle Karl, cousins Diney, Kaa, Karl III, Lisa, Nancy, and Nino, niece Ashley, and some kind anonymous soul.Click here to go to more Math Fun and click here to read some Non-Math Jokes
Lastmodified by Todd Quinto on 1/2/2019